Shape your destiny yourself

Love me like you'll never see me again

#dumbfounded

When people tell me 

"You are so lucky your skinny" 

NO. I get BIG. My metabolism is very slow. I used to be fat. I AM NOT naturally skinny.

Want to know my secret? I work EXTREMELY  hard to get to where I am now. I force myself to the gym 3-4x a week and slave away 1-2 hours each time I go. It's not easy, if it was easy EVERYONE would be skinny. I don't leave unless I know I have been sweating my ass off. 

So NO I am not lucky. I work HARD.

There are days where I lack motivation and will drive myself to the gym and sit in the parking lot and will be like "eff it" and drive home. It's not easy at all. But I do it because I need to. 

I am not one to complain about my weight, because I just get up and do something about it. 

Chivalry is NOT dead

Relationships are suppose to be equal, it's suppose to be a two way street. Simple logic if you may: you take care of him, and he should take care of you. You make effort to see him, he should make effort to see you. 

I have compiled a list of things I think every man SHOULD still do for his woman or mate, because CHIVALRY SHOULD NEVER BE DEAD. I mean, why WOULDNT you want us to feel special and loved right? If these simple things make us happy, why the hell not? These things should not only be limited to the "honeymoon" stage but indefinitely. The effort will make us appreciate those that try so much more than we already do. Know your value ladies. You are worth everything and should be treated that way, nothing less. 

1. You deserve to have your doors open and held for you, your seats pulled out for you. I am not saying every single time... But once in a while should do, just to show that you are putting her before yourself.

2. You deserve to be offered his coat or jacket when you are cold. If he sees you are cold and doesn't offer, he is selfish and inconsiderate. 

3. Flowers or candy once in a while. I know flowers die, and sometimes your on a diet and won't eat candy.. But it is the thought. The thought  Just to make you feel like he was thinking about you when he was at the store. 

4. Phone calls. I know it's a newer millennium and it's all about texting, which is why it would be even more special if he made that effort to call you just so that he can hear your voice because he genuinely missed you. 

5. Random texts throughout the day so that you know he is thinking about you and taking his time out of the day to let you know that.

6.Still tells you your beautiful. 

7.Actively reminds you how much he loves you, cares about you, how happy you make him feel. 

Because honestly at the end of the day, that's all I need to hear... Or wish I can hear.

I wake up Monday-Friday 6:45am-7am get my daughter to wake up, have her brush her teeth, cook her breakfast, do her hair, get her changed, then I can get ready myself. Take her to school then go back home to get ready for work. Pick her up from school go gym, come home cook dinner, shower my daughter, and get her ready for bed. Then weekends I have to wake up at the crack of dawn to work. No days off. Sometimes you just need to be reminded that you are an amazing superwoman that tries to do it all, and that you are loved and appreciated. 

8. If you are with your boo. BE WITH YOUR BOO, do not preoccupy your time with your significant other being on your phone... It's annoying and very disrespectful. If I have set aside time to be with you I expect your attention and your devotion. I don't want to sit there and wait for you to finish texting. If I can put aside time to see you, you can put aside time for me as well. I'm a busy girl, if I know your gonna be on the phone more than 50% of the time you are with me I would rather be at home on my phone and doing me.

You better make sure if your on your phone that much, then you better be a good texter to her also. 

The point is to make her feel wanted and desired by YOU.

9. Show her that you are actually trying. Show her that you are actually making a effort. 

If you want to see her, TELL her. 

You miss her, TELL HER, let her know! Sometimes you just gotta make the effort and travel to her to see her, but she'll see that you TRIED just because you wanted to see her. Or LET HER KNOW that you want to see her, maybe she'll come to you! 

If you want to talk to her, Let her know! Even if you guys have NOTHING to talk about, it'll make her feel good to know that you took time out of your busy day (or not so busy) just to hear from her. But you have to make the effort. You love her? Prove it. 

Actions always speak louder than words.

10. Small public gestures of affection:

Now I am not talking about  all-out PDA. however, a guy who will grab our hand on the street or give us a quick peck on the cheek. It's adorable. We love that he loves being with us, and we think it's rather fantastic that he wants others to know, too.

And if this guy is "not that type" and doesn't think it's worth it to "go out of his way" to do any of these things, then ask yourself: what the hell are you doing wasting your time on this person if their not willing to go the extra mile for you? 

Know your worth, you are worth EVERYTHING.

Sometimes you just have to go out of your way a bit. Just to show her that you are willing to jump obstacles for her. 

You value her. She will value you.

Defy the odds

Sometimes I am just so exhausted and fed up. I'm tired of trying to defy the odds, but I stand strong because I will not let the odds stand in the way of what I'm meant to do or be. 

I am tired. Tired of no one understanding of what I have to go through. But I stand strong so that my daughter can live a normal life.

I am TIRED. I am so tired of being alone in all of this because my family refuses to see my side.

 I am tired of being alone in all of this

I stand strong because there is nothing left for me to do. 

I am just so tired. 

Holding on

The only thing that is keeping me alive right now is Tara.

When everything is wrong. She is the only thing that's right. 

Sometimes

I have my good days and I havey bad days.

These days I've just been really sinking

Into the bad.

I can't help but feel so alone in all of this . Sometimes enough just ain't enough. 

 something about this song alway lifts me up. It reminds me that I'm not defined by my past and then I'm perfect just the way I am. I'm perfect because my past shaped me to be who I am today. 

Made a wrong turn once or twice

Dug my way out, blood and fire

Bad decisions, that's alright

Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood

Miss 'No way, it's all good'

It didn't slow me down.

Mistaken, always second guessing

Underestimated, look I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel

Like you're less than fucking perfect

Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel

Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me

You're so mean (so mean) when you talk (when you talk)

About yourself. You were wrong.

Change the voices (change the voices) in your head (in your head)

Make them like you instead.

So complicated,

Look how we all make it.

Filled with so much hatred

Such a tired game

It's enough, I've done all I could think of

Chased down all my demons

I've seen you do the same

(Oh oh)

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel

Like you're less than fucking perfect

Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel

Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me

The whole world's scared, so I swallow the fear

The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer

So cool in lying and we try, try, try but we try too hard

And it's a waste of my time.

Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere

They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair

Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time

Why do we do that, why do I do that (why do I do that)?

(Yeah! Oh!)

Oh, pretty, pretty, pretty

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel

Like you're less than fucking perfect

Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel

Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me

(You're perfect, you're perfect)

Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel

Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ocDlOD1Hw9k&feature=kp